Tuesday, November 30, 2010
i remember this one time i was checking in with my police chief and he was like "where the heck you been man? you're going way too undercover! you're crazy!" and i was like "maybe i am!" and then i rode my hog (motorcycle) right out of his stupid office. then i met up with these bad guys who thought i was their friend. they were playing pool during a lull between fistfights. there was this girl who was there and they were being mean to her and i was like "you're gonna wish you never did that." and they were like "what the?" and then i fistfighted with all of them and did all these uppercuts and roundhouses and knocked all their lights out. and then the babe fell in love with me and told me about how those guys had a big drug deal and she wanted to marry me but i was like "sorry toots," and i got the heck out of there. she was like "aw man, where the heck you going?" and i was like "to a drug deal!" and i put on one of the knocked-out bad guy's clothes so i could pretend to be him. then the drug dealer was like "oh hey buddy!" and i was like, "i AIN'T yer BUDDY!" and knocked his lights out and took him to jail and the police chief was like "man, sorry i yelled at you. you're awesome. how about another mission?" and i was like "sorry boss. i'm retired." and i threw my badge in the trash can. but then i was like, man that would've been cool, like as a souvenir. so i got it out of the trash. but it had some gum stuck to it, so i was like aw man. but i took it to the bathroom and rinsed it off. it was no big deal.
Friday, November 26, 2010
But after that, I got to skype with my family back home, which was really cool. Then I went over to Emily's to spend Thanksgiving with loved ones out here. It was very fun and nice and the food was good. The whole afternoon served as an important reminder that my family and friends are cool enough that just talking to them through a computer or spending an evening with them are fun enough to make the other crap not matter all that much. I'm very thankful for that.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
when i moved into my most recent apartment, i had to do something i'd never done before. i had to buy a fridge. it was a strange and daunting task. i don't know what to look for in a fridge. so i did what any responsible adult would do. i went on craigslist and found a guy who had like 8 beat up fridges in his mom's garage. my friend adam and i went and looked at them. he seemed to be assigning them prices randomly when we'd ask about each.
"how about this one?" i'd say.
"that one?" he'd say, "uhhhhhh, 450."
then he'd leave the room and scream at his mother in what i think must've been israeli for a minute or two, then come back.
"you need dining table?" he'd ask.
"nah, we're good. how much is this fridge?"
"that one? uhhhhh, 600."
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
but if i ever get a job that pays a living wage, i promise i'll throw a few bucks your way.
Monday, November 22, 2010
my roommates have been out of town for a few days, which has been nice because i've been able to walk around the apartment in my underpants. i could probably still walk around the apartment in my underpants after they get back here. maybe they wouldn't mind. i'm not sure. but you better believe it's coming up at the next roommate meeting.
i want a cool shirt like this. but only if it fits right. my friend adam (author of the now defunct blog Wikibloogia) and i have spoken at length about how, as we've grown older and matured, we've continued to dress almost exclusively in t-shirts, but nowadays the fit and feel of the t-shirt are far more important than the picture or message the t-shirt bears.
this is a nice little news piece that was sent to me by adam, former author of the now defunct blog Wikibloogia, which i was a fan of.
anyway, this old scientist pulled his out-of-date robot pal out of an old garage and dusted him off and fixed his wires and now they're buddies again. it seems like the premise of a Pixar film. i'll get to work on the script first thing tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
brandon: just put "cash keep right."
josh: draw a picture in the middle of what it will look like so they know what to expect.
nathan: what about people who can't read english?
josh: that's why it's a drawing!
nathan: no, i mean the cash keep right part.
josh: well, just put it on the right side with a dollar sign.
brandon: no! cuz dollar sign just means money but we only take CASH.
nathan: fine, we'll put a dollar sign AND the word cash.
josh: that doesn't make sense!
brandon: yeah, people will read it as "cash dollars." they'll think we messed up.
nathan: no one will think that. dammit, back up, josh. you're breathing on my neck.
josh: well, i wanna see.
brandon: oh nice one! you almost knocked my nalgene over! if the cap wasn't on, that could've spilled all over the keyboard. then you'd be so dead!
josh: yeah right! i barely touched it!
nathan: everybody out of my office! right now!
brandon: it's our office too.
josh: yeah nathan, it's our office too.
so, not too long ago, i posted a picture of a strange animal that i saw at the zoo. i couldn't remember the name of it, so i asked you guys. my friend justin guessed that it was a Canary Vulture. i wanted to do some "fact-checking" before i shared the results with you guys, so i asked wikipedia what a canary vulture was. all wikipedia had to say was "did you mean cannabis culture?"
anyway, emily figured out what the animal is. it's a cassowary. it's from new guinnea.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
breakfast of champions which is by kurt vonnegut, who is a veteran and whose birthday is november 11. i read that book all in one day. i had never, and have never since, been able to read a whole book in one day. anyway, i'm reading that book again. starting today. if it goes well, i might read this book every year on veterans day.
but i probably won't. happy armistice/veterans/birthday.
but i probably won't. happy armistice/veterans/birthday.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
when i was growing up, the people in the place i lived decided they didn't want to mess with their clocks twice a year. so it was easy for us. but it got confusing because half the year, tv shows would start at 7pm and then the other half of the year, they'd start at 8.
i missed some shows because of that, let me tell you.