remember when we were kids and some of the kids would say that if you're hand is bigger than your face, then that means you have AIDS? And then when you put your hand up to your face to see if it was bigger and the other kid hits your hand so you smack yourself in the face?
i bet if you did that to a kid with AIDS he'd be PIIIIISSSSED.
what's the name of that disease where it's your turn to talk but you can't think of anything at all to say and robot in your brain starts panicking and commanding you to speak and you don't know whether to run underneath the house and hide or just lie down on the floor and not move for a couple of days?
this is the turkey we ate on thanksgiving. emily painted it with maple syrup and put bacon on top. it was probably the smartest thing anyone has ever done in the world. the bacon was the best i've ever tasted. if you guys want really good bacon with eggs for breakfast, the trick is just put them on top of a maple syrup-coated turkey and cook it in the oven. it takes four hours and you'll be stuck with this delicious turkey that you probably don't want for breakfast, but trust me, it's the best bacon you'll ever taste.
the sad truth of moving to a new place is that you can't take everything with you. well, i mean i guess you could, but you probably don't want to. i didn't anyway. and i forced myself to thin the herd in this move. the herd of all my crud. one of the things that didn't make the cut was this super classy work of art that i had hanging above my toilet.