Sunday, July 31, 2011

nice try heineken

the other night, i was drinking a heineken and noticed some gibberish printed on the underbelly of the cap. i investigated the matter and discovered that by uncapping my heineken, i had unwittingly entered into a contest to win some bullcrap. i like bullcrap just as much as the next person, so i looked into redeeming my prize. i had to share the gibberish with my home computer to communicate with a heineken representative. i quickly received a message indicating that the gibberish i found on my cap was NOT going to earn me any bullcrap. the heineken representative encouraged me to play on, saying "got another cap?"

i quickly uncapped another heineken and poured it down my throat. "i WILL win something from this," i heard myself scream. i shared the new code with my computer and yet again i received another disappointing message and another plea for new cap.

this went on for a day or two before i realized: they're just trying to get me drunk! my mom warned me about girls like this when i went off to college. at that point i threw my last few cases of recently purchased heineken in the dumpster and punched my personal computer right in the face (monitor). "you won't scam this sap, you stinkin heinekeneken!" i attempted to say while barfing.

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