Monday, October 31, 2011

halloween rerun from #mbfmb

well, we don't have a new halloween episode of butler ... BUT WE'VE GOT AN OLD ONE! we've gotten a lot better at making these but this one is still pretty funny. check it out if you're not too scared. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

drawing humans

if you had to describe what a human looks like to an alien and the alien drew one based off your description, i bet he wouldn't draw it right. because aliens are stupid. and it's hard for them to hold pens with their stupid slimy claws. i hate aliens.

occupy butler street

well, there's been a lot of commotion about this occupy wall street movement and My Best Friend, My Butler is proud to announce we have found a solution to our nation's economic woes. you're welcome, everyone!


here is a new video i directed for The Get Go. it might not be safe for work. not in a porny way. but in a gross way. also kind of in a porny way.

scary halloween

happy halloween. this is the scariest thing i could come up with.

Good Old Desk

my old desk couldn't make the move to the new house. it was super wobbly and ready to fall apart. i logged a lot of hours at this wobbly old desk over the last three years. lot of good memories. Schoolpants was born on this desk. that alone makes this desk museum worthy. but this desk literally radiated creative energy. i couldn't have that wasted in a museum. the desk BEGGED me not to let it rot away in a museum, or let it be degraded by sending it back to the Goodwill i got it from, or let it be humiliated by posting it on craigslist. so with tears in my eyes, i beat the hell out of this desk until it was nothing more than a small pile of plywood. rest in pieces, dear friend. you served me well.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

ghost phone

for sale: one weird rubbery cover for a flip phone. been used exactly zero times. protect your phone with what looks like a ghost phone! impress your friends! asking price: $14billion

serious inquiries only.

car advice

i'm no mechanic, but i give pretty good car advice.

casualties of the move

as i mentioned in the previous post i'm moving and as i mentioned in the previous post, you gotta throw some crud away when you move. these shoes didn't make the cut. it's kind of sad. i've had them both since college but haven't worn either pair in a long time. they both kinda look like clown shoes. i'm kind of a clown i guess. anyway. goodbye old shoes. thank you for keeping my feet smelly.

conan receipt

did i ever tell you guys about the time conan o'brien came into the coffee shop i worked at in boston? well it happened this is his receipt. he didn't want it so i kept it. but now i'm throwing it away. because when you move to a new house you have to pack up most of your stuff and throw some of your stuff away. and this was a thing i am throwing away. because i took a digital picture of it. and i'm putting it on my blog. and that doesn't take up any space. and it doesn't yellow with age. so this is how i will keep the receipt now. and the real receipt can move to wherever all the other trash moves to now.

hide and seek

mo is absolutely killing me at hide and seek today

Saturday, October 29, 2011

lower-case cursive f

whenever i write a lower-case cursive f*, i feel like i'm tying a knot.

*i rarely write cursive anything

Friday, October 28, 2011

1704 lbs

big deal. don't most pumpkins weigh about that much? ... no? oh, i was thinking of water buffalo. most water buffalo weigh about that much.

disposable toothbrush

my parents gave me this disposable toothbrush back in the late nineties. i can't remember where they got it but i remember that they thought it was really cool. it has toothpaste INSIDE the head of the toothbrush! i remember them making that very clear. they told me to keep it in my backpack in case i ever find myself without a toothbrush and in need of brushing.

it doesn't have an expiration date on it but i'm almost positive it can't be good anymore. yet i still have it. in the backpack i used to take to school. i can't get rid of it. because what if i need it.

something is wrong with me.

because this little blue guy says so

new cat trick

i taught mo a new trick. it's called, "stand up and sniff my shirts, you creep."

sweet baby lettuce!

every time i stub my toe or pinch my finger in the kitchen cabinet, i shout "sweet baby lettuce!"

Thursday, October 27, 2011

good day at ralph's

this was a good day at Ralph's. i saved $32.26 with my ralph's card.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

look out for ballwoman

the weirdest part about eating dinner in las vegas is that sometimes a woman trapped inside a ball will roll past you in the swimming pool.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

weirdest day at this apartment

 i'm moving to a new house. moving always makes me stop and reflect on what memories i'll take away from my current apartment. i think the day that a bunch of oily musclemen shouted about tea will go down as the weirdest day at this apartment. i still can't believe the neighbors didn't call the cops. those musclemen can yell really loud. for a long time. all day in fact. for more info, watch this video. caution: there's R-rated language.

Friday, October 21, 2011

night club chef

i hate this dance club but the food is delicious.

i missed it!


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

do the robot!

How to Do the Robot - watch more funny videos      

check it out! learn to do the robot as seen in my best friend, my butler! the best show not on television! #mbfmb.

it's about time

it's about time those free-loading robots lend a hand (if they have hands).

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

foot massage & body

and body?

pac man

playing pac man just stresses me out.

i'm no fun.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

my best friend, my butler, my robot (episode 6)

you guys! have you seen the new My Best Friend, My Butler?

it is funny! watch it! like it! share it! impress your friends! depress your enemies! follow your dreams! reach for the stars! say no to drugs! high five a cat! write a letter to your congressman! believe in yourself! you can do it!!!
my girlfriend bought this for a dollar and put it on my bookshelf. i guess to remind me that i'm different from everyone.

tongue paper cut

i know it's not visible and i'm sorry this is such a gross picture but i SWEAR i got a paper cut on my tongue from licking an envelope!

halloween is coming

tiger is excited for halloween this year.

sexy ad

does that say "sexy ad?"
the only way i can make sense of this is to imagine that one of the store's employee's heard somewhere that a good way to drum up business is to put a sexy ad in the window.