Thursday, September 30, 2010
anyway, i got to the 7-11 and reached for the normal Big Gulp cup. but i couldn't help but notice the special edition KISS themed Super Big Gulp cup. you could get one with your favorite member of the rock and roll band, KISS. i don't have a favorite member of KISS because i don't even like KISS, but Catman appeared to be the silliest of the four. so i took that one.
there was a significant cost difference between the normal Big Gulp and the special edition KISS Super Big Gulp. but i got the latter anyway. and this is why i am poor.
anyway, my stupid friend patrick was playing snood and i'd never played and he couldn't believe i'd never played and i couldn't believe he couldn't believe i'd never played. anyway, i gave it a shot and i STUNK. he couldn't believe how much i stunk at it because apparently it's a pretty easy game. so i played more and hated it. but i stuck with it and eventually went through all five of the emotional steps to accept a new game into your life, which are:
1. this is stupid.
2. i hate this game.
3. this game cheats.
4. i'm going to kill myself.
5. wait, i think i get it.
6. why do i still stink at this?
7. this is stupid.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sun is not the best at his job.
Friday, September 24, 2010
and then i remember that it's that attitude that makes me bad at life. and it's that attitude that makes me bad at chess. and so then i realize that i was right. i'm bad at chess because i'm bad at ... i mean i'm bad at life because. wait, what was the question?
i hate chess. i'm never playing chess again.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
In 2005, I worked at a really crummy restaurant. There was a soda fountain that always (except for the 20 minutes or so right after you cleaned it) had fruit flies around it. I could never figure it out. Soda pop doesn't have fruit in it. Maybe they were soda pop flies. But since when do soda pop flies exist? Nobody ever tells me when new bugs come into existence. I'm sick of it.
When I was in college, there was a street on campus called "Walnut Street." I bet a lot of campuses have streets called Walnut Street.
Whenever a walnut shell is broken open and you see the actual nut, that always made me think of someone's head getting cracked open and seeing their brains.
That's all I have to say about walnuts right now.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
also, i think it's funny that the in the photo caption, the bbc news feels the need to explain that the tiny cow is the one on the right.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
another music lesson, another song to warm the hearts of babes with. learn to play Greensleeve on the guitar. or play it at christmas time and sing words over it and call it What's This Child. any way you slice it, this is a good song for the guitar.
i know what your thinking: where's the stereo? just use your ipod, dummy.
the next question on everybody's minds is how do i go through the drive-thru at my favorite fast food restaurant? you shouldn't be eating that junk so much anyway, knucklehead.
if you work at a car place and want to build my invention and sell it to everybody, i'm okay with that AS LONG AS:
- i get one of these sweet cars (periwinkle)
- you give me one billion dollars (U.S.)