you know how mean old people say that you have two ears and one mouth because you need to listen more and talk less? well, i'm working on changing that. using only headphone speakers, simple wiring, and basic neurosurgery, i'm developing a procedure that would allow our thoughts to be amplified and shot out of our ears (BOTH ears) in any voice or accent you can think of. also, i take the tubes that go to your ear drums and wire them through your mouth. so to listen, you just have to open your mouth. can't hear to well? just open your mouth wider, dummy! don't feel like listening right now? that's easy, just shut your trap!
and because you're mouth needs to be saved for listening, you have to eat through your belly button! which means no more choking on stuff!
also, you sneeze out your butt now. i don't know why. there's always a few kinks to work out with new surgical procedures.