how to find ants

having trouble finding ants for your ant collection? here's what i suggest:

1. leave a tiny jar of marmalade sitting out
2. that's it. that's all you have to do.

what's that? you don't have a tiny jar of marmalade? well, i guess you're not a tiny french hooker.*

*it is my understanding that marmalade comes from french hookers (source: a song called "itchy itchy maya gaga" or something). furthermore, it is my understanding that the size of the jar corresponds with the size of the hooker (source: instinct).