when i lived in boston, i worked at a coffee shop with my friend patrick. there was this guy who came in all the time. he was big and fat and pink. i think he lived out of his car. on sunny days, sometimes patrick and i would see him in his car, suntanning. he'd be in nothing but his short shorts or underwear, i don't even know. it was gross. you'd see this big, pink, sweaty blob reclining in his car seat and you just immediately turn away. he may have been totally naked for all i know.
he'd always come into the shop and try to sweet talk patrick into giving him free drinks. one time, he came in and patrick ran to the back of the store and hid. the pink guy asked me if patrick was there and i said no. then he started to walk away but he came back and said, "you know, i had a drink and i set it down so i could use the restroom and when i came out, my drink was gone. can you believe that?" and i was like "wow, i can't believe it." and then there was a weird pause, so i said, "... you want a new one?" because i felt like i had to say that and he said yes and i asked him what the drink was and he said "ummmm" and looked at the menu for awhile and picked something out. he was a pretty crummy liar. but the thing is: he got a free drink. that's the thing about bad people. they can just be bad people and get things because good people like me are like "eh, it's not worth the trouble."
after awhile when he came in, patrick would be like "oh great it's this guy!" right to his face, which was funny. but the pink guy thought it was funny too. eventually he stopped coming in and we'd see him stealing soda pop from the burrito place across the street. then one day he came in and told us he was moving to miami. i pretended to not be a part of the conversation. patrick was like "big whoop. smell ya later."
i'm older now and i'd like to think if that happened nowadays, i wouldn't give the bad guy a free drink.
2 comments:
his love for broadway musicals made me hate broadway musicals even more. how do you suppose he's surviving in miami? if the boston sun turns him pink, surely the miami sun must... give him powers?
word verification is avalist.
it kind of reminds me of avalanche. an avalist is one who causes avalanches.
Once, on Mothers Day, the pink guy stole a rose from KaBloom down the street and gave it to me while I was at Peets. I'm not even a mother. I felt bad after Patrick told me it was stolen.
My word verification was "dress". Sexist word verification.
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