BOOZ

I was at a holiday party recently, being really hilarious, when I happened upon this wine cork. Being the hilarious person at a party can be hard work, but sometimes you just get lucky. When I happened upon this wine cork, I knew that this was one of the "lucky" times. The wine, apparently, was from 2008. My first thought was what anyone would think, "gross! who brought the expired wine?" but my next thought was something only a hilarious person would think: "upside down it looks like a phonetic spelling of the word "booze!"

Then I made sure to shove in the face of every single person at the party, so that no one felt left out. "Look what it says!" I would shout, "It says booze because that's what it is! It's from a bottle of booze!" I said "get it?!" a lot to make sure that each person got it. A lot of people said, "yeah, I get it" but they didn't laugh. They'd just sort of roll their eyes or push me away. I guess they were just embarrassed that they didn't get it. That's the tough part about being the hilarious person at a party. Sometimes your sense of humor is just way too sophisticated. You have to remember that not everybody "gets" everything. And you have to remember not to call them stupid idiots when they don't "get" a hilarious joke. And then you have to remember that you can't take that bottle of wine with you when they kick you out of the party. And then you have to remember not to cry when they all call YOU the stupid idiot after you tell them you don't want that wine anyway because it expired two years ago.