magic tricks

I want to apologize for not blogging everyday lately. My life has become exponentially busier in recent weeks due to my enrollment in the Highly Imaginative Magic Tricks School of Magic. The quantity of Schoolpants posts has suffered, but I assure you, friend, that my highly imaginative magic tricks have not.

The HIMT school of magic is owned and operated by Rufus Cartweild, certified magician and CEO of Magic Hat Accessories LLC. I had the great fortune of bumping into Mr. Cartweild (quite literally) in a shopping mall in Burbank, Calif. I was fumbling with a half dozen or so bags from Hot Topic in an effort to dab my cargo shorts with a damp napkin to remove some freshly spilled Orange Julius before the stain set in. Had I been watching where I was going, I might not've run smack into Mr. Cartweild's magic display, toppling his tower of magic rabit-skin hats.

I prepared for a fight to ensue but Mr. Cartweild was nothing but friendly. Rather than stop the magic display for a rumble with me, he decided to generously incorporate me into the show. "My school for highly imaginative tricks is so effective," he proclaimed, "that even a buffoon such as this could be a magic man in a matter of mere weeks."

Anyway, long story short, he gave me a partial scholarship and even helped me fill out the paperwork at the bank to get a substantial loan to pay for the rest of the tuition. Now I'm living in his basement and training full-time. He's pretty strict. I only get 14 minutes of internet time a day, which is why the blog posts have been a bit lacking. But if I stay on top of my chores and don't make any more mistakes, I should get more internet time next week. And before we know it, I'll be a performing highly imaginative magic tricks and wowing my peers!