Friday, May 29, 2009

pity's my only hope

when i was 2 years old, i went shopping with my mom. i found a smurfs balloon that i really wanted. i asked my mom to buy it, but she said no. i didn't put up a fight. i didn't complain. i just pulled the balloon down, kissed it, and said, "goodbye smurf balloon."
my mom was so touched by the gesture that she bought me the balloon.
and at that extremely young age, i learned that the only way i would get anything in this life, was to make people feel sorry for me.
that lesson has gotten me jobs, a masters degree, and countless free beers. a girl even dated me for upwards of three years, solely out of pity. yessir, i do believe i have that smurf balloon to thank for the sad man that i've become today.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think this is my favorite story. period.