laundry roach

it seems that every time i go to the laundromat, something strange happens. today was no exception.

i was quietly reading when my peripheral vision informed me that weirdness was afoot. i looked up to find the largest cockroach these eyes have ever seen. the beast was nearly 1.5 inches in length, with antennae each as long, if not longer, than the length of the beast's body. each of the back legs appeared to be 1.25 inches long (when extended), with spikes/hairs covering the surface of each leg.

i watched, in fear, for what must have been 45 minutes while this brute gnawed on some gum that was stuck to the floor. i began tapping my foot loudly, pretending to enjoy the mexican music coming from the boombox, in hopes that the vibrations would frighten the arthropod and encourage her to retreat back to the crack in the floor under the washing machine whence she came. no such luck. it was clear, then, that i was more afraid of the beast than she of me.

so we sat there, for the remainder of my laundry time, in silence. i read my book. she chewed her gum.

when the clothes were dry and it was time for me to leave, i felt i should explain myself to her, explain that it wasn't her fault i was leaving. but there were no words.

i just left.

and then josé, the laundry guy, squished her with his shoe.