Friday, December 18, 2009

i'm back in time

so sometimes i accidentally go back in time. what happens is i find myself in an environment similar to one in which i have been before and, suddenly, memories come back to me so strongly that they feel as if they are happening again.

i've got this space heater in my room now because it's cold. anyway, back in january 2004, i had an even colder bedroom. so i had a space heater then as well. it was the first time i had had my own room in several years. i was excited. here's what i did with that freedom: i painted my walls bright yellow and, each night, i watched a VHS copy of Hook as i ate Little Debbie Fudge Rounds and drank Capri Suns until i fell asleep. this was an almost nightly ritual for me. i was determined to remain childlike. which was absurd considering how unhealthily immature i was to begin with. it was like one of those tattoos of a snake eating itself. only the tattoo was me. and the snake was Hook. and instead of eating itself, it was eating fudge rounds and drinking capri suns.

anyway, the point is: i have this space heater cranking out heat and a burnt-plastic-smell directed at my bed. the smell and feel of it really take me back. i find myself craving fudge rounds, capri suns, and Hook. i was an idiot back then. here's what i looked like in those days:

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