Wednesday, April 28, 2010

knockoff nyquil

hey. if you guys are sick with a terrible cough and you're thinking about taking some expired generic nighttime cold medicine: don't do it.

i don't want to tell you how to live your life. but don't do it. unless you want to have these crazy terrifying nightmares all night where you are walking to the bank at 3am for some reason and you think you see a tiger in the parking lot but then you get closer and realize it's just a lemur and you think "cool! a lemur!" and the next thing you know there is a lemur on your back and he won't let go and he's making this crazy sound that you've never heard before and suddenly you're surrounded by about ten of these lemurs and you don't know what to do. if you want that, then by all means, take the expired generic nighttime cold medicine. don't measure out the dosage. just take a big swig out of the bottle and then go to bed at 4 in the afternoon.

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