my friend Kienan O'Dork isn't like most people. he doesn't seem to play by the same set of rules. he does things that theoretically would cause him to be ostracized by society. yet he remains generally well-liked. i always found that inspiring.
so it was a huge loss when i found out the Kienan I Knew was no more. Kienan O'Dork today not only plays by society's rules but also ANOTHER set of rules. the source of these new rules ... Marmily (his girlfriend). kienan got a brand new mustache last week. it looked great. everyone agreed. very funny. kienan was siked to show off the new addition to his face for a few weeks and take it with him to the Dominican Republic, where the mustache, undoubtedly, would make him instant friends with the Dominican people.
there was just one kink in his plans: marmily. she made him shave the mouthbrow. and the world has been a colder place ever since. rest in peace Kienan's Mustache. rest in peace Kienan America.