Wednesday, September 30, 2009

i bit my lip

today, i did something very stupid. rather, my body did something very stupid. i don't think i should be held accountable for things that my human/animal body should be able to do with out my brain getting involved. today i was eating some food from my freezer that i heated up in my oven (which i do everyday). normally, this is a pretty smooth process. i watch tv while my body chews, swallows, and digests food, converting it into energy that i use to do the things that i want to do. it's sort of like putting fuel in your car. but instead of your car, it's my body.

anyway, today, for no apparent reason, instead of biting into a chicken patty, i bit into my lip. how does this happen??? i have been chewing things EVERYDAY since i was a very small child. how do these mishaps still occur? it's preposterous. i was trying to think of something to compare it to, like if instead of breathing, your body suddenly decided to barf. but that's not a very accurate analogy. then i was thinking that it's like if you were trying to urinate but instead your body somehow kicked you in the balls. but that's not a very accurate analogy either. then i figured it out: it's like an ingrown toenail. your body, day in and day out, turns dead cells into toenails and they grow OUT of your toe. but then, for some people, their body is just like, "i'm bored. i'm gonna grow it THIS way." and the nail grows INto your toe. or something like that. i don't really know what an ingrown toenail entails. but i assume, because of the name, that it's something like that?


Adam Shonkoff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adam Shonkoff said...

This was particularly funny.

And I agree a lot with what you've said.

It reminds me of how every once in a while (once a year?) when I'm washing my face really vigorously, I accidentally thrust a finger really hard up my nostril and it makes my nose bleed.

(word verification word: beneogen)

P.S. I had to delete this the first time, because I read it again and there was a word missing. The word was "me". I wonder what Freud would say about that.

(new word verification: rearhen)

Adam Shonkoff said...

And one more thing. From now on when I comment I am always going to note the word verification word at the bottom of my comment, because as we all know, a lot of times they're funny.

(word verification word: spoli)