man, today i was thinking about how i wish you guys could go to the supermarket with me. it stinks that i only ever go food shopping by myself. i have hilarious stuff to say about EVERYTHING in the supermarket. every time i'm there, it's a steady stream of funny thoughts.
about half of what i say to myself is stuff like, "let's get some motha-effin' cereal, yo!" or "it's motha-effin' cracka time, yo!" or "where the eff are the saltines, yo!?" or "how could a supermarket of this size and reputation not have some motha-effin' saltines for me to dip in my motha-effin campbell's chicken noodle soup, yo!?"
you get the picture.
i also make hilarious comments about my fellow shoppers. i say awesome things in my brain like, "sweet hat, douchebag." and "cool boobs, lady."
it's not that funny now that i'm typing it. you had to be there i guess.
you know what? forget it! i'm glad you're not there with me when i go food shopping.