Monday, June 22, 2009

the prodouz zection

i have two friends who have birthdays today. they are brothers to each other.
their names are jonathanothon and nathanathonaniel prodouz. they were born on the same day, of the same womb.
they had a birthday party, on a night - just like tonight - exactly thirteen years ago. it was in their parents' old basement, which would later become my second home throughout the following few years.
anyway, at this party that i was just telling you about, i made out with a girl! it was the first time i had ever done that. and boy was i nervous. we were in the twins' dad's work room. there was a boombox playing whatever was on 96.3 the Edge. i remember that song "i'm a bitch" playing. she and i stood there for around 45 minutes, sparsely speaking to each other. then she asked:
"are you going to kiss me or not?"
i started to apologize and then it happened. her weird warm wet mouth was on mine, slobbering all over my cheek.
i had always thought that mouths somehow interlocked or something. i was shocked and slightly disappointed at how wet and messy the process was.
the girl broke up with me shortly thereafter. i was crushed.
the prodouz's birthday always reminds me of that.
three years after that party (ten years ago today), i saw my first dave matthews band concert. i thought, at the time, that the concert was as important a milestone as my first makeout had been.
now both seem pretty lackluster, as far as milestones go.
i feel like i don't have any real milestones. nothing ever happens that instantly changes anything big. everything in my life has always happened incredibly gradually.
anyway, it must be fun having a twin. unless your twin is a dick. like jonathan. just kidding. nathaniel's the one who is a dick. just kidding. they're both dicks. just kidding.