Friday, January 29, 2010

new plan against petition people

this should've been a part of the last post. but i didn't think of it until just now. here's what we should do the next time the petition people try to bug us. right now, i'm thinking specifically of the greenpeace people but i think we could tweak it to work for any of these bullies. i remember greenpeace people would always say thinks like, "hey man, want to take a minute to help save the world?" then they ask you to give them a bunch of money.

well, next time that happens, as soon as they ask you if you want to save the world, get a crazy look in your eye and say "yeah! but i'm gonna need your help. i have a plan. it's perfect but i need about eighteen thousand dollars to get it off the ground. any amount that you could donate would be a huge help."

that'll show 'em!

and it works for anything. if someone's asking you to sign some petition to change some law. be like, "it's funny you should ask because i have a similar thing going. do you want to sign mine?" and then hand them a piece of paper, like an old receipt or gum wrapper, whatever's in your pocket.

if they try to sell you some garbage about how their organization is more legit, just kind of scoff and say, "oooohkay. but ... how do i put this nicely? ... hmm. see the thing is, people respond to me. i'm what you call a people person. i feel like - and don't get me wrong, i think it's great what you're doing - but i feel like i'm a better face for this cause, do you know what i mean? does that make sense?"

and if they still refuse to sign your petition or donate money to you, say something like, "okay, i feel like this discussion is just going in circles and meanwhile, neither one of us is saving the world. here's what we'll do. just have your supervisor give me a call and maybe i can work something out with him. here's my business card." and then hand him an old receipt or a gum wrapper, whatever's in your pocket.

1 comment:

Patrick! said...

i'll tell you again. you pretend like you're on the phone. they say, "what, so your phone call is more important than saving the planet?" then you say, "what's that? oh sorry, i just found out my mom died." then you "hang up" and proceed to act as if you're very interested in what they're saying.

word verification is "stoga"