dear dog across the street,
why are you such a dick? you bark really loudly. don't you know that i'm trying to watch television? i like to keep the television volume at 30 because it's an appropriate volume and it's a nice round number. but when you're barking like a dick all the time, i have to turn it up as loud as 38 sometimes. 38 is not a nice round number.
also, there's absolutely nothing happening outside right now. there is NO reason for you to bark. your hours and hours of barking accomplish nothing. you are wasting your life.
in closing, just knock it off.
i hate you,